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set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..

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(no subject) [Oct. 15th, 2005|12:46 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Things have been great.
Nick went to Arizona for a week though, because his grandma wasn't doing any better w/ her cancer.
Today is my dad & Kathy's wedding.
My CJ did my hair all cute-like & curly. Ugh.
Too much, too much.
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(no subject) [Sep. 22nd, 2005|02:55 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Shit's going crazy right about now.
I'm working my ass off because a select few, actually most of everyone there, decides not to show up. Which means - Kayla's a loser and doesn't have anything to do, she'll work!
I hate having to come to this stupid library just to check my mail.
Oh well, I think Nick wants to get the internet at our place. He knows how much it really does mean to me.. w/out me really saying it.
I've been tanning for a while now. Hanging out w/ Aunti Di and Mama Jo, hah. It's been great, I really have missed them. They're trying to get me to go spy on some people for them. No.
Right now at the house, there are some really creepy guys that are insulating it. I can't be there while they are. Ick.
Oh yeah!
Well, Jeri and I figured out that Nick pushed me down the stairs and I lost the baby.
We'll see how fast THAT lovely rumor will circle.
Kind of like the one about Nick hitting me.
That's BULLSHIT and YOU know it. Not to mention, I have almost all of my entries "friends only," so you couldn't have possibly read it yourself. I just don't like the fact that you're saying shit you have no idea about. That's people though.
I.. think Nick got you back.
Jarrod was bound to find out some way. I think he should've before. I'm sorry.
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(no subject) [Sep. 17th, 2005|07:08 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Yeah, I've moved to Williston.
I'm still working and living w/ Nick and Mike.
It's a good time..sometimes.
I don't have the internet, so I have to go to the library most of the time to even check my mail. But right now, we've come back to Noonan for the day. It's been fun, but I've got to go see my Lee-Bop.
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(no subject) [Aug. 16th, 2005|10:04 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Today was Sam's first day.
She left in the middle of it, so I had to help Cheryl when I got done.
I get Thursday and Friday off, so we're going to Burlington.
Britt's fucking stealing money left and right from everyone around there, so.. I'm not bringing any.
And Sharon just wrote me a $500 check for us to get an apartment tomorrow.
We'll be living next door to Clint and Patsy. Yay.
It should be fun.
I can't wait to get out of here; these early mornings are killing me.
Oh well, payday on Friday.
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2005|07:56 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
"I must hold on.
This happens all the time - I still find my faith in you.
I can't hold on.
This happens all the time - I still find my way to you."
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2005|07:20 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Shit hit the fan last night.
Kathy was being really mean.
I've never done anything to her, yet this is the shit I get - all over again.
Today at work, Claudi told me that I get Sidework full-time on the weekends. Woohoo. :) Carla was pissed at Bob the other day while I was there, so I kinda saw it coming. But either way, it's still good. That's what I like the best.
Sam starts tomorrow.
Still working on moving to Williston. Got most of my stuff moved into the camper, but.. yet, we're still here.
I don't know what's up.
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(no subject) [Aug. 14th, 2005|01:50 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Saying goodbye to Nels was hard again.
Afterwards, Sam and I drove around; I cried, so she cried.
It was fun though.
Supposed to be at work this morning at 10.
I woke up at 10:15, so I had to call Claudi.
She was happy that I actually called, and I told her I've been sick, on the rag, and in the middle of moving. She told me to get my rest and be in by 10 tomorrow. I was awake for about 15 minutes, then fell back asleep - I didn't get up until 5. Hah, I am really sick, I guess that goes to show it.
Nick and I went to Crosby, got some pizza, watched a movie, and have been working on the camper for a while now. It looks awesome. Good deal. I'm happy.
Also.. That "guy" Teresa ditched me for a while back - is a walking dead man. He, of course, just like I said he would, fucked her over. I told him if I ever see him around Noonan again, it's fucking on. No one, I repeat NO ONE, fucks w/ my Teresa. She is one of the few people in my life that I will stick up for.
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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2005|06:17 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Moving to Williston right now.

I'm out.
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(no subject) [Aug. 8th, 2005|08:21 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Colin came back yesterday to stay w/ us for a while again.
I missed him.
I thought Nick was seeing some other chick - it was Willy on someone's cell phone.
He just laughed and laughed at me.
I went through his cell phone, and he did the same thing to me - even before I told him that I did.
Heh, we're a pair.
Neither of us trust each other.
We may just borrow Tom's camper and stay in Williston for a while.
This driving back and fourth is getting old.
I got Sam a job today.
She's going to be working w/ me.
I get to hang out w/ Nels before he leaves for Alaska on Friday.
I'm going to give him the best birthday present ever:)
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(no subject) [Aug. 7th, 2005|10:42 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Last night, Nick ditched me for Willy and a keggar.
Then Lee didn't want to do anything.
So I called Sam, then Jess, then Nels and Matt, then Dustin in Williston.
We all hung out.
It was pretty fun.
I'm going to Williston w/ Kathy on Wednesday.
We're getting me an apartment.
Shit hit the fan at the farm tonight.
Willy's supposed to be staying here, but we lost him.
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(no subject) [Aug. 5th, 2005|04:37 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
If anyone ever says something to the affect of "I hate liars, I hate the bullshit, I hate the drama" - FUCKING RUN.
The only ones who actually say that are the ones that lie, love bullshit, and cause drama.

That's my lesson for the last few months.
I should've stuck w/ my gut feeling.
But no - I was wrong, and everyone else was right.
You had everyone fooled.
Not me.
Yet, I didn't stick to my guns?
Why, when I had apparently given up?
I don't ask for a lot.
Just keep it honest.
I guess that's too much.
I have no place to live.
My sanity is quickly fading.
I lost control last night.
Fell into it again.
I need to get my life right.
I need to walk away.
I need to be alone.
The end.
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2005|05:32 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Called in sick today.
So Tom, Sharon, Nick & Willie went to Williston to look at the trailer and sign papers.
Then they went to Minot.
Did anyone call me and tell me what was going on?
Oooof course not.
I don't want you to come and see me just because I want to see you.
I want you to want to see me.
That's all.
I just want you to love me.
Sometimes, it seems that is the hardes thing you've done in your lifetime.
You definitely know how to keep me on my toes.
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2005|10:54 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Woke up sick today.
I think I got it from Tom yesterday.
Craig called me today!
I told him he's invited to the wedding.
He doesn't have to dress up - all he has to wear is his pink Cupcake shirt.
Then he'll match the rest of us.
Kathy and my dad went to Minot today. She got a really cute dress and some flip-flops for me.
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2005|12:34 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Today, Grandma asked me to go along with her to Annie Kjos' funeral.
It was nice, I guess.
Sharon is buying the trailer in Williston that I like for me, Willie, and Nick.
Moving in almost a week from now. So I still have to drive back and forth to work everyday for a while.
Sharon's also letting us have the couch and love-seat in Burlington. She's such a sweetheart.
Tonight, when I got home, My dad and Nick had to go 'coon hunting. Then Kathy and I got into it because she wouldn't let me shoot it - she wanted it alive. Whatever; and she wonders where her outside cat went?
Yeah, got a cute skirt for the wedding. It's pink - so I get to wear my pink and grey John Deere hat, yay. It's exciting.
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(no subject) [Jul. 27th, 2005|08:07 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Last night, Nick and I did go to Minot for Starbucks.
It was fun.
I got some things at Wal-mart too.
On the way there, I messaged Jess. Hah, I haven't talked to that girl fooorever. She's in Williston still, too. So that's one person, besides Sam, there that I know & like, heh.
Second day at the new job.
I had to go in at 7 'till 1 o'clock.
Wasn't too bad, I guess.
Pam trained me in. Everyone that trains in for the job quits.
I have to take a lot of notes tomorrow, but I'm not going to quit.
I like it..
I had today, get tomorrow and Friday - then I'm on my own next week. Har, that's funny. There's a lot of things I need to remember. I'm going to try, but I suck.
She's just.. a little too particular. And I'm exactly the same way, so it's not that bad.
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(no subject) [Jul. 26th, 2005|06:51 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Today was alright, I guess.
This girl named Alicia trained me in.
Turns out, she's Ralphie's ex girlfriend.
She's cool shit, though. I like her a lot.
It went by pretty fast. Eight 'til 1:30.
Tomorrow, I'm getting trained in for "Side Work" on the weekends. It's from 7 'til noon-ish.
Finall saw Mike today.
It was alright, I guess.
I don't have much to say to him.
I just woke up from a nap & I'm trying to talk Nick into going to Minot to get Starbucks, hah.
He's got a piss test tomorrow too, so again, we're riding there together.
Willie and Emily wanted to take his new truck to Minneapolis. I told them no. So then Sharon said they could take the Rav. What the fuck is their problem - Willie has three trucks & Emily has a car, yet they just can't fucking wait to ruin yet another one of the vehicles around that just isn't theirs.
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(no subject) [Jun. 10th, 2005|04:52 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Bite me, I have a date w/ my Sam and Kendall.
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(no subject) [Jun. 9th, 2005|01:54 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
One of our bunnies died today. :(
Worked from 7 'till now.
Fun, fun.
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(no subject) [May. 21st, 2005|07:44 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Colin's here.
I love him, he's great.
Got my laptop. And a haircut.
Yep yep.
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(no subject) [May. 17th, 2005|01:39 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Fuck off, I cut down on smoking for you, and I stopped eating.
What do I get?
Fuck everyone.
Fuck Nels.
I'm talking to Bobert, still. He told me that Nels said that he waited around for me to dump him, that he didn't have the guts to do it first.
Fuck this.
Trust no one.
I can't believe this...
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(no subject) [Apr. 30th, 2005|05:30 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
Well, it's 6:30 in the morning and Kayla and Nels just got home from JAIL.
We were at Joey's party and hid. They found us, so me, Nels, and Adam were hauled away. Everyone else just got their tickets and went home.
The cop I rode w/ was one of the ones that pulled Dan and I over yesterday, so I knew him. He told me some pretty crazy stuff about Community, heh.
Two seconds before the fucking cops came, I called Dan to come and get me because I had like two beers and saw a lot of cops. When I heard his car, the cops got there. Fucking a.
So I had to call Bobert. I now owe him $300, $500 for the fine, and $400 for rent. I'm soo in debt.
Adam was saying that he was going to call his brother to bail him out, but when we got there, his brother, Derek, was there for a DUI when he was going to Joey's too, hah. And they were all in a cell w/ a sex offender. I was all by myself. It was so dirty, there was indian hair all over, and I refused to pee - I held it for 5 hours, damn straight. Above the doorway, it read "Native Pride." Fun, fun. Scary, scary.
I just called my dad and Kathy. They just fucking laughed at me. My dad's going to help out w/ my dues, and then when school gets over, I'm going to go back for a few months to work so I can pay him back. Maybe I'll just ask my granpda for some money. Shit, I knew my own cousins, here in GF, wouldn't even come and get me, so I didn't bother calling them. I'm so glad I usually call Bobert at 5 in the morning, he's getting used to it, hah. :P
So all in all - children stay out of jail.
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(no subject) [Mar. 18th, 2005|06:03 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
*~*LAST TIME YOU...*~*
Smiled?: It's been a few days..
Cried?: Couple hours ago.
Danced?: Don't.
Watched your favorite movie?: Too long.
Had a nightmare?: Today.
Last book you read: Dry by Augusten Burroughs
Last thing you had to drink: water.
Last time you showered: Couple hours ago.
Last thing you ate: a piece of pizza about 12 hours.

*~*DO YOU...*~*
Smoke?: Like a chimney.
Do drugs?: Nope.
Sleep with stuffed animals?: Yes, and dogs.
Have a dream that keeps coming back?: Yes.
Play an instrument?: I'm not talented, nor do I have patience.
Believe there's life on other planets?: Sometimes.
Remember your first love?: Yeah.
Read the newspaper?: Sometimes, usually only the classifieds.
Have any gay or lesbian friends?: Yep.
Believe in miracles?: Sure, I'd like one right about now.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Not for me.
Consider love a mistake?: In some manners.
Like the taste of alcohol?: I don't drink. It's trouble.
Have a favorite candy? : Sure.
Have any secrets?: Yes, a lot.
Have a crush?: Nope.
Have any pets?: Yeah - Nels, Neglected Tucker (our mutt), Eeyore (Cocker), and Lucky (Pitbull).

*~*HAVE YOU EVER...*~*
Kissed your cousin?: Yes.
Ran away?: Yes, I was just about to do so.
Pictured your crush naked?: ..
Actually seen your crush naked?: ..
Broken someone's heart?: Yes, all the time.
Been in love?: Yes, all the time. I fall in love w/ everyone I see.
Cried when someone died?: Yes, many.
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have?: Isn't that just life?
Broken a bone?: Yeah, my wrist & leg.
Lied?: Yes. I'm a horrible person, but a wonderful liar. You'd be surprised.

Coke or pepsi? Water.
Girls or guys? Both have their pros and cons. Overall, I'd say neither though. I hate people in general.
Flowers or Candy? Flowers.
Quiet or Loud? Quiet. Although, right now - it's tooo quiet.
Blondes or Brunettes? *Shrug* Either, I guess.
Tall or Short? Not Kathy short, but not as tall as I am either.
Shorts or pants? Pants around here, it's cold.

What do you notice first? Personality, eyes.
Last person you slow danced with? Nels.

Had sex? About a week or so ago.
Had a great time with the opposite sex? Few days ago.

*~*DO YOU EVER...*~*
Sit by the phone and wait for someone to call? My life story. No one ever does though.
Save AIM conversations? No.
Save emails? Yeah, who doesn't?
Wish you were somebody else? No, I'd just like to disappear.

Romantic Memory? Pass.
Most recent advice given to you? No one will give me advice anymore - they think I'll just figure it out for myself, which I'm doing a shitty job at.

Ever been so drunk you threw up? Yeah, but not for a long while now.
Missed school because it was raining? No.
Put a body part on fire for amusement? No, just socks and jeans.
Been hurt emotionally? All the time.
Kept a secret from everyone? Yes.
Had an imaginary friend? Yes, Pete & His puppy.
Cried during a Movie? Yes.
Had a crush on a teacher? No.
Ever thought an animated character was hot? No.
Had a New Kids on the Block tape? Never.
Been on stage? No.
Cut your own hair? Yes.

~*~*~*~* Favorites *~*~*~*~
Shampoo? Pantiene Pro-V or Dove.
Color? Lots.
TV Show? It used to be anything on the history channel, then comedy central, then the court channel - now it's anything on animal planet, too.
Store? Best Buy, Office Max, Target..
season? Summer.
Lace or satin? I don't know.
Cartoon Character? Eeyore.
Favorite food? I'm a garbage disposal, I'll eat almost anything.
Commercial? Geico ones.
Movie? Fight Club, still.
Non-alcoholic drink? Water.
Alcoholic drink? -

>~*~*~*~* RIGHT NOW *~*~*~*<
Wearing? Wifebeater & new pear of Paris Blues.
Hair is? Up.
Feeling: Lonely, confused, hurt..etc.
Eating: Smoking cigarettes.
Drinking? Water.
Thinking about? Running away if I had somewhere to go.
Listening to? "Title & Registration" by Death Cab For Cutie over and over and over.. etc.
Talking to? Myself and my dog.

~*~*~*~* IN THE LAST 24 HRS *~*~*~*~
Cried? Yes.
Worn a skirt? No.
Met someone new? No.
Cleaned your room? I'm..unpacking, I don't know if you'd consider that cleaning though.
Done laundry? No, going to soon. It's "quiet hours" now though.
Drove a car? Nope.

~*~*~*~* DO YOU BELIEVE IN *~*~*~*~
Yourself? Most of the time, no.
Your friends? I don't have friends.
Santa Claus? No.
Tooth fairy? No.
Destiny/fate? Not much anymore.
Angels? Yes.
God? Yes.

~*~*~*~* FRIENDS, FAMILY AND LIFE *~*~*~*~
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Kinda-sorta.
Do you love anyone? Yes, everyone.
Who's the loudest? Jeri.
Who's the shyest? Me.
Who's the weirdest? All of them.
Who do you go to for advice? No one. I said I don't get advice.
When have you cried the most? Last night/today.
What's the best feeling in the world? Making someone smile.
Worst feeling? How I'm feeling right about now, worthless, lost, confused, disappointed, and not to mention - all alone.
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"if you do not want to see me again, i would understand." [Dec. 9th, 2004|12:00 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
[mood |bitchybitchy]
[music |Third Eye Blind - Jumper]

Worst day ever.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
No more "Friends."
No more "School."
No more "Home Life."
I really am looking for a school in GF, by the way. If no one believes me.
And for you..
You know what, fuck you.
I'm sorry I'm here for your mere amusement.
I'm glad you need me for something. Gah!
I'll leave you alone. I'm blocking you, not talking to you.
Have a good life.
So Long, buddy.

"you tell the world I'm dead to you, but I know you want me back."
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(no subject) [Oct. 28th, 2004|09:02 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
[mood |rejectedrejected]

I just wantneed to be loved. That's all, I promise.
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(no subject) [Sep. 25th, 2004|10:31 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
This morning, I called Jess to see if he had money to get a tattoo. Nope, so he was going to call us in an appointment.
So I went w/ Nels to Williston to get his car instead. We did that, watched the guys pour cement, hung out at Justin's. It was fun. Then we went to check out the tattoo parlors. Nope, no one there, so we went to the pet store.
I fell in love w/ a cocker spaniel, so I bought it. Only.. I charged him on my dad's credit card, heh. As we were leaving, I said, "Wow, wouldn't it be weird if Kathy got a dog too?" Nels just laughed and said it wouldn't happen.
We stayed for a little bit after that, then put Nels' old car on the trailer & headed home.
My uncle, aunt and dad were all here, working on the cement. I showed my dad & he looked.. not too happy. He's like, "Yeah, Um, Kathy will be here at 9:30 w/ a dog. She wanted to surprise you."
Haha. I totally called it!
Now we have two dogs, Diablo and Eyore. It rocks. :)
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I hate the fact that you like me now. [Sep. 16th, 2004|10:04 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
[mood |indifferentindifferent]

I hate this.
I wanted you - you wanted nothing more than for me to leave you alone.
I now, want you to leave me alone, and you won't. No, it's not that I want you to, it's just.. difficult for me.
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(no subject) [Sep. 3rd, 2004|05:23 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
[mood |lonelylonely]

I hate being ditched.. especially on my fucking birthday.
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Senior Pictures. [Aug. 3rd, 2004|10:34 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
You can go to my pictures
then go to the Senior Pictures part.
Please leave me a comment here to tell me which one you like.
Thank you.
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(no subject) [Jul. 3rd, 2004|01:20 am]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
[mood |nauseatednauseated]
[music |Taking Back Sunday - A Decade Under the Influence]

My mom just called.
That was the most sane conversation we've had since I was about.. three, I think.
The guy she's living w/ right now, is beating her too, just like Allen and Roy used to.
She was admitted to the institution when she first moved there two years ago & got Brandy taken away. So she's supposed to be on meds. They changed it four times. And they're so poor, he hasn't given her money to get them for 7 or 8 months.
She wants to come back here. She was crying, I was crying.
It's so sad. Part of me wants her here. But the other part.. knows what she's really like. And that won't work.
I begged her to start taking her medicine. And told her I'd pick her up at the bus stop whenever and wherever.
As much as I know I'll regret it, it's for the best. She needs the hell out of there. And help.
I just.. don't think I can do that. I'm a mental case myself, how is this supposed to work? I don't know what to do....
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(no subject) [May. 23rd, 2004|06:41 pm]
set myself up for the greatest fall of all time..
If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal.
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